The Forgotten Lady
by booklover611
Summary: Marigold is now a teenager living as a marquiss step daughter in the 1930's. In order to protect her reputation her mother has let her believe that she is a ward and not her biological daughter. This story follows Marigold through her adolscents as she tries to find her place in the world and balance complicated feelings for the stable hand all while dealing with her callous
1. Chapter 1

September 22 1938

Marigold Pelham sighed to herself as she collapsed down onto the grass hill outside of her family's estate. Instantly she reached for the white buckle of her penny loafers then kicked them off letting the shoes sit lonely several feet ahead of her. She had been walking a good two miles now and every bone in her body ached. Oh well being a little sore was better than being stuck there- inside for her sister's sorry excuse for birthday party. Or Step Sister's sorry excuse for a party that was. A fact the fourteen year old would never let her forget.

She supposed they weren't even step sister's, not really. After all she was only a ward. Taken in by the distinguished Crawly family at the age of two then handed off to their middle daughter once she managed to snag a man. No where near as noble or distinguished as her parent's biological children. That was another thing Virginia liked to remind her

It wasn't that she hated her stepsister even though if anyone was deserving of hate Virginia would certianitly be the exception. It was just that the girl had a way of well-making other people's lives hell to be frank about it.  
Sighing to herself she wiped away the smudged cake from her blouse then smeared the remaining icing onto the grass. Today had been an especially hellish day at the hand of her sister. A hellish day that had ended up with cake thrown into her face when she had dared to accidentally drop the last tray of lady fingers. Just the thought of that little snot nosed brat throwing a royal hissy fit in front of everyone who was everyone in society then taking her rage out on her made her blood boil. Not that Virginia would be blamed for it though oh no that never happened. Marigold would be the one who would have to face the responsibility. She would be labeled as clumsy and callous while daddy's little darling would slip under the radar completely innocent yet again.

She picked up the penny loafer then tossed it across the lawn letting the shoe hit the neighboring oak tree with a satisfying slam.

"Someone looks happy."

She turned meeting the grinning face of her family's stable boy.

"I'm not in the mood Joseph."

He only grinned wider then plopped down beside her. "Come on no need to be so grim. It's not the end of the world."

Not the end of the world? She rolled her eyes. He had no idea how much the end of the world this was. She had been embarrassed, humiliated and degraded in front of hundreds of people. How wasn't that the end of the world?

"You don't even know what happened..."

He shrugged to this then laid down, using his arms as a makeshift pillow. "I saw though the window. You dropped something and she threw her birthday cake in your face." He swiped his finger across her left shoulder then licked off a dollop of icing. "Buttercream cake to be exact."

Leave it to Joseph to make a joke out of her peril. She had been friend's with the stable hand for nearly nine years now and had come to learn there was scarce that he couldn't make light out of. The boy didn't have a serious bone in his body-perhaps that was what had made her befriend him in the first place...

"You're an ass Joseph O'Malley."

"As ass? Why that's not proper talk for a lady, Miss. Pelham."

"I'm not a lady I'm a ward so there's problem with it."

His eyes skimmed hers attempting to pick up her meaning. Once finding it he sighed then pulled her down onto the grass to lie beside him. "You're just as much of a lady as they are, Goldie...even more so."

She returned his heavy breath. "No I'm not, Joe. That's why she treats me this way. Because I'm nothing but a no good orphan who no one wanted ,without a trace of blue blood in me."

"They wanted you. Out of all the wards they could have chosen they chose you. That makes you even more of a lady-you were elected they were just born. Much more democratic if you ask me."

He tried and she supposed that was all that counted. Sure she might be nothing but an unwanted orphan but at least she had one of the sweetest best friends in the entire world. She forced a smile then pushed away a rouge strand of curly brown hair from his forehead. "Thanks..."

"Don't say a word about it. It's just the truth."

"You should go back to work. You'll get in trouble if Mr. Grayson sees you out here with me instead of doing your work."

He waved off her concern. "I don't care. I'll just tell him I was out taking care of the younger generation."

"You're only two years older than me and you know it."

"Two and a half."

She laughed for real this time. "Sorry I forgot a whole six months."

"Yes and I'm very hurt."

She slapped his shoulder to which he replied with a slap to hers. They were laughing like mad men soon, slapping and giggling then eventually laughing even more as he got on top of her and proceeded to tickle every inch of skin he could find she was laughing even harder now until she could barely breathe. He had a way of doing that to her-taking the very breath out of her lungs...

"Marigold, the whole party is waiting for you."

She sprung up at the sound of her mother's voice then turned. Much to her luck the woman wasn't behind her but rather calling her from the front doorstep. Inhaling a long breath of relief she slipped out from under him then came to her feet.

She flashed him an apologetic grin pointing behind herself and vaguely to the blurry silhouette of the castle. "I have to go. She's calling me."

He sighed disappointment clouding his chiseled features. "Do you have to?"

"Of course I have to. She'll come looking for me if I don't. Then she'll find you and we'll both be in trouble."

Sighing again he nodded surcoming to the fact that they both knew too well. Although not a lady by birth her parents had expected their ward to follow all the rules of nobility, and nobility certainly didn't fraternize with stable hands...

She forced a smile attempting to make him feel a smidgen better. "I'll see you tomorrow though. At the stables after tea."

This seemed to help some and he smiled back. "Sounds like a deal."

She turned on her heal making sure to hurry her step. Mama would skin her alive if she ruined Virginia's party with her tardiness and she was already in enough trouble to risk that.

"Goldie wait!"

She turned to see Joseph jogging up behind her. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a hankiercheif wrapped package. "I got you something." He pulled the sides of the hankiercheif away revealing a mangled mush of buttercream frosting cake. "It's a piece of cake. Grayson asked me to take out the rubbish after-well the incident and I know it's your favourite so I-" He shrugged. "Well here you go."

Smiling she took it taking a tiny nibble before she tucked the present away in her pocket. "Thank you Joe..."

"I-"

"MARIGOLD!"

She sighed then motioned back to her hollering mother. "I'm sorry. I really have to go now."

He only nodded to this taking that as her cue to go she turned again beginning to jog up the hill.

* * *

He watched her as she jogged. Eyes skirting down to her skirt to watch that perfect curved silhouette as it hurried away from him. He had wanted to say a million things before she had left, that they didn't deserve her, that she was more than a lady not because of the shoddy reason he had gave earlier but because she exuded it from every fiber of her being, that she was perfect and lovely-that he loved her. Yet he knew he couldn't, not today,not tomorrow, not ever. Not because he was scared or knew that it would be in vain. But because of that look she had gave him. The look he had known too well since he was nine years old. The look that said that stable hands could never marry Marquess's daughters.

Even if they were only a ward.

He had often entertained the thought. What would happen if he told her how he really felt then stole her away to be his bride. They could runaway together, to America where titles and social standings didn't matter. They could be free and most of all happy...

Yet he couldn't. No matter how much he loved her and wanted to make her his he knew he couldn't tear her away from all of this. The girl had grown up in castles with pretty dresses and elaborate parties. She would have no idea how to live in his world of cheap flats and scrounging just to get a meal on the table. Sure she would pretend to be happy at first but eventually would begin to wilter away until everything he loved about her was nothing but a distant memory. That would be even worse than not having her he thought.

So for now he would be her friend. Her good old chum who made her laugh and held her when she cried. Pretending all the time that that was all he wanted to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Marqouiness Edith Pelham watched her oldest daughter as she scurried up the front lawn. The sixteen year old heaved a gigantic sigh as she skidded to a stop in front of her, nervously combing back a wisp of curly brown hair behind her ear.

"Sorry Mama. I was out back."

She lowered her gaze to her daughter's cake stained blouse then sighed. She knew the real reason for her Marigold's sudden disperence during the party and couldn't help but sigh because of it. She wasn't blind to her daughters quarrels in fact not a day went by when she didn't want to jump in between their fights and intervene. But Bertie had always insisted that she didn't. It was best for them to figure it out for their own, he said. That eventually they would be able to get past it and laugh at it all in the future. Yet a part of Edith feared that they would never arrive at that blissful date. After all eventually her and Mary had learned to reconcile their differences. But it wasn't that way with her daughters. Marigold had a way of taking it all, suffering her younger sister's abuse without a word then forcing a smile on her face as everything were alright. At least Edith had the spunk to stand up to her sister, Marigold-well she just couldn't...

She rested her hand on her daughter's shoulder flashing the teenager a sympathetic grin. "Wash up and come downstairs again. She's cooled off a little bit."

"Must I?"

"Yes."

"I really would rather not. I have a lot of homework to catch up on and it's not like Virginia would want me to be there anyways."

A part of her felt like pardoning the young girl but she knew she couldn't. The entire family had drove down for her daughter's birthday party and it would be just plain rude if Marigold didn't make an appearance.

"You know you must."

She bit the inside of her cheek then sighed. "Fine. Do I have to talk to her though?"

"Yes."

She caught a slight eye roll but decided to ignore it. Grumbling something under her breath the teenager slipped past her mother then proceeded to scurry up the staircase to her bedroom.

She decided not to wait for her eldest daughter to come down the stairs. Knowing Marigold it would be quite awhile until she would rouse herself into facing her sister again. Not that Edith could blame her, after all if Mary or Sybil had thrown cake in her face there was no telling what she would do. All though politely excusing herself to run away to the back field to cry about it all defentily would not have been it.

The party was already staring to die down a little now. They had long since recovered another cake and sang happy birthday to the guest of honor now all there was to do was for the young people to dance while the older fuddy duddies sat and talked.

She skimmed her eyes across the crowd until she found her second eldest daughter dancing the jitterbug with the head of high school debate team-the boy Marigold had been interested in.

She felt a gentle tap on her shoulder and turned to see her husband behind her. "Has the offender calmed herself?"

"Who Virginia?"

He shook his head pressing a gentle kiss to the nape of her neck. "Your daughter, Marigold."

"Marigold isn't the offender. Virginia was the one who threw the cake in her face."

"She dropped the tray on purpose, darling. She was mad about not getting a party for her birthday so she tried to sabotage Ginny's."

She had forgotten about not giving Marigold a party this year. The poor dear had been ecstatic about finally having her first grown up ball but Virginia had thrown a fuss and demanded that they share the party instead. Eventually she had changed things around so much and canceled the invitations of so many of Marigold's guests that the party had become completely hers. Marigold had cried for days about that...

She rolled her eyes slipping out of her husband's hold. "There isn't a sabotaging bone in her body. She tripped, she shouldn't have been carrying it anyways."

"I'm not saying she didn't trip I'm just debating whether it was on purpose or not."

It was just like Bertie to take Virginia's side and to be honest Edith wasn't sure if she could entirely blame him. After all Virginia was his blood Marigold was just his wife's baggage, a painful reminder of the love affair she had with another man.

Deciding to change the subject she skimmed the room once again to find said painful reminder. She had changed now, into a plain lilac summer frock. Edith had reminded Marigold thousand of times of the proper attire for the seasons but she never seemed to care, or perhaps she did care. Perhaps she cared all too a little much, she realized then that the frock wasn't a simple slip of mind but rather calculated-her forgotten daughter's silent rebellion.

Which to be honest was a lot less than she deserved.

She watched her for a little longer now. Her eldest daughter had found a place amongst the crowded room to stand beside her eleven year old brother. She looked somber, most likely attempting to forget this evenings earlier betrayal. All of a sudden her son leaned over and whispered something in his sisters ear, she instally frowned.

Suddenly her eyes cast to Virginia and the debate captain.

James had done that on purpose. He had wanted to hurt her...painfully and brutally just like his older sister had earlier this evening. They always wanted to hurt her-because she was different... no that wasn't true it was because of the lie (Edith) she had told.

Her mind drifted back to another fall evening not much unlike this one.

 _The ten year old giggled collapsing back onto her mother's bed. Pure joy had streached over the girl's face as she snuggled closer to her mother's breast finding a safe and comfy home._

 _"Are your feet hurt from dancing too Mama?"_

 _Edith shrugged cuddling her child just a little closer. "Not too bad. I didn't dance as hard as you though. I'm too old for such a thing..."_

 _"You are not Mama."_

 _"I'm past forty."_

 _"Grandmama is past 60."_

 _It was just like her oldest daughter to always try to mend wounded feelings. A born fixer of broken hearts..._

 _"You're sweet you know that?"_

 _round grey eyes wandered over to the vanity table mirror now and Edith knew she had lost her daughter's attention._

 _"Mama?"_

 _"Yes my darling."_

 _She twirled a strand of curly brown hair around her finger then paused. "Do you think my real mother had brown hair-or well I suppose you're my real mother since you raised me and all-but the woman who gave birth to me that is."_

 _Her heart stopped. Her daughter's real mother... the fabricated lie she had used to save both their reputations. It killed not being able to tell her beloved little girl that she was her flesh and blood. A day didn't go past when she didn't want to to tell her. Yet she couldn't...for everyone's sake..._

"My Darling are you quite all right?"

"I-" She shook her head snapping herself out of her daydream. "Yes just thinking I suppose."

"Do you think we got her enough presents?"

"Of course we did. It took her nearly an hour to open them."

He squeezed her shoulders tighter then cast his eyes over to Virginia. "Do you know who that boy is?"

"Yes."

Marigold had spent hours telling her about the handsome debate star. She knew almost every detail about the boy, his impressive winning streak at the school finals, how he had ever the slightest lazy eye, hell she even knew that his favourite food was baked beans with toast. Marigold had idolized him for the last three months now-Virginia hadn't even known his name.

"Edward Bletchly..." She sighed relaxing back into her husbands arms. "He's nice enough..."

Not nice enough to not lead a girl on then dance with her younger sister but nice enough she supposed.

"How do you know him?"

"Marigold is practically in love with him."

He rolled his eyes then mumbled something unilltengable beneath his breath. "Marigold, Marigold, Marigold. God I wish you would stop talking about her for once. It's Virginia's birthday after all..."

"Sorry. I just can't help but feel bad for her. She's such a sweet child and the other children do have a tendency to-"

Suddenly she felt another tap on her shoulder. She turned meeting the smiling freckled face of her niece.

"Sibby!" She immediately hugged the girl pressing an eager kiss to her cheek. "You arrived!"

"Da and I nearly missed the train but we made it just the same."

She couldn't help but smile looking at the girl, a perfect incarnation of her mother. Dark hair barely touched her shoulders framing her heart shaped face perfectly. She was tall and slender yet curved at the waist just like how Sybil had been back when she had been alive. Edith couldn't help but grin thinking how similar her niece was to her late sister.

She squeezed the girl tighter then pulled away fighting back a smile. "How's college?"

"Fine, the work isn't so bad and I've met some good people."

She nodded allowing her gaze to slip over to her daughter. She looked increasingly upset since seeing Virginia dancing with that boy and was now by herself in the corner, melancholingly munching away on the corner of a roast beef sandwich. Every bone in her body ached to go over there yet she knew she couldn't, not with company over that was...

"That's fine..." She tore her gaze away from Marigold then forced a smile. "It's always important to have friends."

"Very and speaking of which I should find Virginia. The last time we spoke I told her I would take her and a few of her friends for a ride in the car. To the ice cream parlour downtown."

"What about Marigold?"

"Oh yes Marigold." The other girl smiled then shrugged. "I almost forgot about her."

Yes almost forgotten about. Marigold was always forgotten, always shoved away to the corner and dismissed for more beautiful and brighter things. Nothing more than a burning star in a room full of suns...just as she had been once...


	3. Chapter 3

October 16 1939 (One Year later)

 _Just five more minutes and I'm out of here..._

Impatiently Marigold began to tap her fingers against the dining room table beginning to slowly wean her attention away from her father's babbling war story and to the clock above his head. She had been listening to him describe the entire battle of the Somme for half an hour now and was beginning to become impatient. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate her father's sacrifice in the war before this one in fact any other day she would be more than willing to hear his stories for the fiftieth time. But today she was feeling anxious. It wasn't every day that her and Joe had the opportunity to sneak off together, she had learnt to cherish their moments alone together over the past ten years so when he had stuck a note in her saddle after riding lessons requesting to speak to her she knew she couldn't waste time. So she wouldn't waste time.

If the old battle axe ever shut up that was.

Hating to interrupt him she let out a gentle cough hoping to draw attention to herself for a quick moment. "I'm sorry Papa I hate to cut you off just when you were about to save your fellow cadet but I really should-"

She was cut off by an eye roll from her younger sister. "Never mind her Daddy. She's just jealous. Go on."

She poked her tongue out fighting back an eye roll. Virginia was the first one to complain about Papa's war stories. She had never bee able to stand them stating that they were much to grimsal and lengthily to discuss in such happy times. All though her real reason was her hatred of being out of the spotlight for five minutes. The only reason she was complaining today was because she knew Marigold had a place to go and was hellbent on not letting her get there.

Her father smiled at his youngest daughter then at his wife continuing on with his tale. "So I yelled to him but when he didn't hear me I-"

"I'm going to play Juliet in my school's end of the year drama festival Daddy." Virginia interrupted pride and arrogance sweeping over her fine doll like features.

So she had been the jealous one? Marigold took another sip of coffee this time really rolling her eyes. Leave it to Virginia to scold someone for interrupting only to do it five seconds later. She cast her gaze over to her brother who was always rolling his eyes. Even he could see through her (what Joe would call) Bullshit.

Their Father wasn't even fazed by the interruption instead only smiled in his daughter's direction. "Is that so sweetie?"

"Yes Mr. Johnson-my teacher. Said that I was really the only suitable choice. All the other girls were much too homely and untalented."

All the other girls hadn't left twenty pounds under Mr. Johnson's desk.

She looked at the clock now, she was running late. Great Joe would think that she had skipped out on him if she didn't show up soon and who knew when they would have an opportunity to spend the entire morning together again.

Deciding that she wouldn't let Virginia ruin this as well as her breakfast she came to her feet letting out another cough. "As I was saying before I have to get going."

"Marigold your sister was in the middle of talking."

"Sorry Daddy. But I have mountains of homework-besides I already know every detail of how Virginia got the part."

Her sister caught onto her meaning now and blushed. "She can go Daddy, after all this is a _family_ matter."

"Virginia." Her mother scolded pale face flushing even paler.

She shrugged letting her mother know that she didn't want to fight that battle today. She had gotten use to her sister's comments about how she wasn't truly a member of the family since the other girl was born. Virginia had practically come out of the womb spouting how wards couldn't inherit property and thus weren't a member of a family. One off comment wouldn't bring her day down, especially today.

"May I go Ma?"

Her mother nodded and she immediately took the chance to excuse herself. She couldn't have run faster up those stairs if there had been fire at her heals. Once at the top of the stairs she crept her way to the nearest door then slammed it quickly making her way back to the old toy trunk siting in the hall.

She had perfected her escape plan perfectly over the last five years. Go up the stairs, close a door to make it sound as if she were in her bedroom, open the toy chest where she hide her coat and boots then go around to the other side of the floor to use the stairs there to sneak out the back door. It was fool proof. Even the snooping Virginia hadn't figured it out yet and that was saying something.

She ran once outside. She was already late as it was and if she dawdled she might risk missing him all together. She found him at the river, their meeting spot. Skipping stones and oblivious to her presence.

Feeling mischievous she crept up behind him slamming her hands down onto his shoulders.

He screamed then turned. "Jesus Christ you scared me!"


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey sorry I decided that the former chapter three was too long so I divided them into two sections. This is the second half when Marigold goes to meet Joseph by the river. So if you've read all of chapter 3 you've already read this part :)_

* * *

He screamed then turned. "Jesus Christ you scared me!"

Marigold heaved in a refreshing breath then giggled, flopping tiredly onto the stable hand's shoulder. "Sorry I'm late."

"No, sorry you gave me a fucking heart attack."

"Why Mr. O'Mally did I just hear you take the lord's name in vain and cuss within half a minute of each other."

He pulled her in closer then laughed, smile taking over his entire face. "Did you run all the way here?"

"Almost."

"You're a regular Jesse Owens."

"Who?"

He waved her off then grinned. "Never mind. You got my note?"

"I'm here aren't I?"

"You are." He motioned towards the oak tree at the end of the river then proceeded to slowly walk over there. "What excuse did you use this time?"

"Homework. Virginia was babbling on about being Juliet again so it gave me the perfect time to make myself scarce."

"Did she tell your parents how she bribed the teacher."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Daddy's little darling isn't an extortionist."

He laughed and for the rest of the light walk they kept silent. She didn't mind to be honest, Joe always had a way of making silence not seem silent at all. All though not a single word came out of his mouth it was as if his eyes were telling an entire story. She always loved-always liked that about him...

She wouldn't allow herself to admit that she loved the plucky stable hand. No matter how much her heart knew it was true. Admitting it would only make the fact that he didn't feel the same way even more hurtful. For years she had tried to make him love her, tried to be perfect and beautiful yet always failed. For awhile she had tricked herself into thinking that he cared, that his jokes and gentle touches meant something other than childlike friendship but then he had met Maura. He had fallen for her fast and hard, asking her to be his girl within three weeks. They went places together, places he had once promised to take her, fall fair, the cinema now belonged to Maura. He spent hours writing love letters and thinking of romantic evenings and all though it killed Marigold had no choice but to watch it all, watch the man she loved more than anything else slowly slip away into the arms of another woman. He promised her that their friendship wouldn't change and for awhile she had been stupid enough to believe him but soon their Sunday afternoons together had been given up for Maura and their private talks dissipated. He shared his secrets with her now, leaving Marigold alone and slowly drowning in the seas of her own heart. The most painful way to drown.

Eventually they made it to the tree and he pulled her down onto the grass to rest against his chest. It had rained the night before and the ground was now stained with a layer of dew chilling her as she sat down.

They were silent for awhile again, lost in their own thoughts most likely about each other. Suddenly she felt his arms wrap around her waist pulling her tighter against him.

"Remember when this tree used to grow crab apples?"

"And we would pick them then toss them at the drivers coming in at the front gate?"

He laughed then nodded nestling his head into the crook of her shoulder. "Cook yelled at us something fierce. I got the strap and she made you help her make a pie the next day."

"A crab apple pie..."

"God that thing was horrible."

Biting back a grin she slapped him across the shoulder feeling his broad over worked muscles tense. "You ate it?"

"She threw it out so I thought I'd give it a try. I was sick for days."

"Liar."

He laughed again beginning to twirl the suspender of her jumper around his ring finger. "How old were we nine, twelve?"

"I was eleven and you were almost fourteen."

"We've grown up since then haven't we?"

She nodded suddenly feeling a bit somber. They had grown up. But god had she wished they hadn't. Life was so simple before love and feelings. She had thought nothing could come between them back then. That nothing could change and they would always be the same too scraggly kids hanging out of a tree throwing crab apples. Had she ever been wrong...

He cleared his throat suddenly, face sagging. "That-that's why I wanted to talk to you. About growing up."

"We're no where near grown up and you know it Joseph O'Mally."

"Yes we are Goldie I-" He sighed. "Jesus Christ look at yourself you're seventeen and wearing heals and I-well I'm nineteen."

"We don't act grown up."

"Well we have to."

She bit her lip. Was this it? The conversation. She had dreaded it, yet for years knew it would come, he would tell her that he had enjoyed her company and valued her friendship but they were getting too old now to have a best friend of the opposite sex. He would feel guilty for it of course but would insist that it was truly the best decision to protect both of their reputations and future relationships-Maura. She bit her lip finding it hard to bite back a scowl. Maura had probably insisted on it-the stupid bitch...

She pulled away from him now not bothering to hide her scowl. "Well get on with it then."

"Get on with what?"

"It. Breaking up our friendship or whatever it is you called me here to do."

"Break up our friendship no I-" He shook his head suddenly blushing. "You'll always be my friend I could never-"

"I know I know, you'll always be my friend but we're getting too old to hang around each other anymore. I get it."

"No sweetheart I-" He gripped her hand shaking his head feverishly. "How can you even think I would-I could never do that. Christ I-that's not what I'm talking about at all."

Heat rushed up from her chest to her face staining her cheeks an embarrassed red. So he hadn't called her here to break her heart? Well then, she had just made a fool out of herself for nothing.

"It-it's not..."

"Of course it's not. How could I stop being friends with you? A guy would be a bloody fool if he cut you out of his life."

A bloody fool huh...she couldn't help but smile now feeling slightly cocky about his admission. He would be a bloody fool, wouldn't he?

"Oh..." She sighed leaning against his chest again. "Sorry about that..."

"You should be sorry..." He slipped out behind her letting out a frustrated huff. "Now what am I going to do? I had the perfect intro to tell you and now I'm all frazzled and-god you like to make life difficult don't you?"

He was engaged. She knew it now...that was even worse than him abandoning her. She couldn't force herself to make words now. Her body hurt too much for that...

He sighed again, eyes softening in her direction. "I think you know what I'm going to say don't you?"

"Yeah..."

She closed her eyes waiting for the final blow. Why did this have to happen so soon? She wasn't ready for it yet. Joe wasn't supposed to find love until she had moved on. She had wanted to get married before him, that way it wouldn't hurt so much... but then again when was the last time fate had let her get what she wanted?

"I..." His chest sagged. "I know it's not the best situation but it's my duty. As a man I mean."

"I-I get it...it wouldn't really be fair if you didn't..."

"Exactly."

Exactly that was it? After ten long years of friendship he could cast her off that easily? Marry another woman that easily?

She was on the brink of sobbing now. Heaving in a jagged breath she clenched the grass forcing back the tears. "You-you've been dating for five months now. I-I guess it's time..."

"Dating-" He paused, left eyebrow cocking in her direction. "What do you think I'm talking about?"

"You're-you're engaged..."

"Engaged!"

"Yes engaged I-you don't need to say it nicely. I'm happy for you really I am..."

That was a lie. She wasn't happy for him. In fact if murder wasn't illegal she would march over to that little snot Maura's house and strangle her right now.

"No I-" He shook his head again then sighed. "I'm not engaged. I'm enlisting."

"Enlisting!"

The word sent a cool shiver down her spine. A few boys from school and almost all the other male servants had already done it. Signed their lives away to the British army to fight in the king's war possibly never to return again. The war had only been going on for only a month now but many lives had already been lost, Robert the freckle faced boy from her biology class, Mike the butler's grandson who would come over to help with the gardening... she couldn't let Joe suffer the same fate as them she just couldn't...

"Yes enlisting. I've been thinking about it for awhile now and-"

"Awhile? How the hell have you been thinking about it for awhile the war's only been going on for a month!"

"And I've been thinking about it ever since then."

"You're mad!"

"Goldie I-"

"No-no don't Goldie me. You're insane." She couldn't sit now, she was too mad for that so instead she came to her feet raising her voice along with it. "It hasn't even been a month and you can't resist melding in there to-to get yourself killed!"

"Getting killed wasn't really the aim of it."

She let out a frustrated scream not caring for her dignity. "Really? Do you have to make a joke out of everything!"

Sighing he grabbed her by the arms steadying her against his chest. "I'm not going to get myself killed."

"That's what everyone says."

"But I'm not. Listen to me. I'm going to be fine. I'll be careful you know me."

"You're never careful-" She attempted to pull out of his hold but he held on to strong. "Let go of me."

"Not until you calm down."

"Calm down? You really expect me to calm down when the man that I-" She bit her lip quickly stopping herself. Had she really just almost said that? The forbidden four letter word she had banned herself from even thinking. She shook her head clearing the thought from her head. "I mean... my best friend. When my best friend signed up for a suicide mission."

"It's not a suicide mission."

"Yes it is. Do you know how many men died in the last war? 17 million and 20 million wounded after that. I bet you they all said it wasn't a suicide mission either..."

"This isn't like the last war. Nothing like it. Besides think of all the men who came home. I'll be one of them I promise you."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that."

God did she wish she could just slap him in the face and beat the senses back into him. How couldn't he see how mad this all was? She had heard enough of her father's war stories to know that anything could happen to a solider out there.

"I won't let you do it."

"I've already signed up."

"Well un sign up."

"You know that's not possible."

But she wanted it to be. She wanted it to be possible more than anything in this world did she want it to be possible.

"Let go of me."

"Goldie please-"

She slipped out of his grasp beginning to storm her way up the river bank. Hot tears started to roll down her cheeks and she feverishly began to wipe them away with the back of her hand. She wouldn't cry in front of him, not when she was so mad at him...

"Marigold!"

He grabbed her by the arm yanking her back into his chest. "I'm not done talking to you yet."

"Well I'm done talking to you."

"When will you talk to me then?"

"When you get half a brain an un enlist yourself."

He sighed dropping her hand with a hearty huff. "You're really going to let things end like this? I was your friend for ten years, Goldie, your best friend and you'll shun me for just doing my duty?"

"I'll shun you for being stupid."

"I'm not being stupid. This is my duty Marigold. I won't be a coward just to appease your hurt feelings."

"This isn't about my hurt feelings. This is about you being killed!"

"I'd rather be killed then live life as a coward."

His words stopped her in her tracks. He would rather be killed then shun his patriotic duty? Didn't he understand the things that could happen to him out there? Surely they were worse than being labeled a coward? Besides he wasn't a coward, he was strong and brave and noble-the most strong and brave and noble man she knew.

She wanted to say something yet the words wouldn't come. All she could do was stare and when staring became too much all she could do was run. So she ran... leaving him behind her.

* * *

 _Hey sorry this was a really long chapter! I hope you stuck around to read it all. Tell me what you think by leaving a review, I would love to hear all your opinions! Tell me some ideas of what you think should happen next too! Thanks for reading and more chapters coming soon :) Ps. Forgot to mention this is the first chapter. Marigold starts off the story at age sixteen, this chapter takes place a year later so she's seventeen now. I'd like to have this story take place over a couple years._


	5. Chapter 5

Virginia Pelham had scarce seen her family's ward so upset. Usually finding the girl crying on her bed would be a cause for celebration but instead today she felt oddly curious. It wasn't like Marigold to cry, she was usually the resilient sort no matter what Virginia did to try and put her in her place. It would have taken a special force to knock her down. Had she seen her kissing Brandon Strallan at the cinema? She hoped so she had done that to make her mad, the stupid thing had had a crush on him for a couple weeks now.

The sobs became louder now and she leaned closer to the door to try and make out any muffled words in between them. However there were just cries and not any intelligible infomation. That was almost worse than not being responsible for them.

Eventually the sobs quieted all together reducing themself to the occasional sniffle and whine. That was too bad...she had really wanted to find out what had Marigold so upset. She sighed then collapsed against the door too dispaointed to get up.

Suddenly she heard the window creak open.

* * *

"Get out of my window Joseph."

The plucky stable hand shook his head swinging his leg over the cill then slide inside her bedroom. His face was red from scaling the balcony yet pure determination lined his features as he stood in front of her hands on his hips and eyes glaring murder. If she wasn't so mad at him Marigold would have admired the boy's spunk.

"I'm not leaving." He heaved an exhausted breath. "Until we make up."

"We'll make up when you un enlist."

"I can't unenlist."

"Yes you can. Go down to the enlisting office and tell them you change your mind."

"That's not how it works. Listen this isn't exactly the perfect situation for me either but we can either make the best of it or hate each other until I leave."

She didn't hate him. She loved him, that was why she was mad in the first place. If she hated him then she wouldn't care if he went off to war and got himself shot or killed, you only felt this way if you loved somebody.

"I don't hate you."

"You're acting like it." He took her arm pulling her closer to his chest. "I don't want you to be mad at me, Goldie."

"And I don't want you to go to war."

"I have to. Eventually I'll get drafted. I'd rather go by my own than be forced."

"If you waited then we would have more time."

"We?"

"I-" She gulped. She had done it again. Nearly admitted her feelings for him. She really should watch her tongue. "I mean you. That way _you_ would have more time."

"You can say we." He squeezed her hand tighter. "You're the thing I'm going to miss the most."

"You mean that?"

"Of course I mean it."

"Then stay with me."

She didn't need to hear the words to know her plea was in vain. The hardened yet sympathetic look across his face told it all. He was leaving her, the last thing she had in this world would soon be gone, possibly never to return.

She felt a tear slowly roll out of her eye then roll down her cheek and into her mouth. Quickly she wiped it away hoping that he hadn't seen her sudden outburst of emotion. Say what you like about governesses but the one thing she had learned was never to let your emotions show. Not if you wanted any chance of being seen as somewhat not a weakling.

"Goldie I-"

"No." She shook her head choking back another sob. "No just go-I-I don't want to see you anymore."

"Marigold don't you do this."

"Just go."

"I won't." He took her hand holding so tight she couldn't let go if she wanted to. "I won't let you do this to yourself. Every time you're hurt you just shut yourself away and pretend like it's all alright when really you're not. You've done it ever since we were kids and I'm tired of-"

"Just go!"

His face resembled that of a man who had just been shot. Biting his lip in the way he always did when he was angry he tipped his hat then proceeded to slip out the window. He paused for a moment, half of his body dangling inside her room and the other half hazerdouly loosely outside the window cill.

"You know Goldie. I've known you for ten years of my life and never once have I known you to be such a self centered bitch." He shrugged. "But I guess I was wrong..."

And with that he was gone. Not only for the evening or the week like she had known him to be so many times before. But for good. The boy who she loved more than anything she had ever known before was gone leaving her all alone in this bedroom and the world forever


	6. Chapter 6

Sighing to herself Marigold Pelham collapsed against the library love seat. It had been two days since her conversation with Joseph yet it still rang fresh. She had scarce been able to think of anything else since their little screaming match in her bedroom. Every thought revolved around either their fight or him going off to war. Visions of the peril he awaited in far away lands danced through her head accompanied with the words she desperately had wanted to say. Wasn't it bad enough that she was loosing him, did she have to relive it every second of the day too?

She shook her head then came to her feet deciding that reading might take her mind off of it all. Biting her lip she began to shuffle through the shelves upon shelves of books. Her father's library had always amazed her as a child, the ceiling high shelves that held thousands of books , the soft carpets, rich green wallpaper etched with gold that hugged the dome shaped walls. It was as if the room was frozen in time, not changed and modernized like the rest of the house had been over the years. But frozen capturing a time that had since gone by fading out of homes and memories forever. She had often wondered about the people who had walked the halls of her home so many years ago. Their lives, secrets and passions, deep down were they the same in a way? Beneath the corsets and handsome cabs were they really just normal people trying to figure out this crazy life?

She paused at a particularly worn copy of Plato's Phaedrus then ran her fingers across the yellowed pages. The smell of must imedentily greeted her and she felt slightly calmer. Books could always do that, transport her from her miserable reality and to a new exciting world. Joseph had always said that too...

She shook her head again then sat down beginning to skim through the pages.

 _I'm going Goldie..."_

No she wasn't supposed to be thinking about him now. She was supposed to be reading, distracting herself.

 **The Phaedrus is closely connected with the Symposium, and may be regarded either as introducing or following it. The two Dialogues together contain the whole philosophy of...**

 _I've known you for ten years and never once have I known you to be such a self centered bitch_

But she hadn't been a bitch, all she had wanted was for him to stay. Was that so bad? Sure a lot of woman had to say goodbye to their men, their husbands and sons- but surely this was different. Joseph was just a boy, a child even. He had no idea what war entailed. All she was doing was protecting him-that certainly wasn't being a bitch...

She closed her eyes remembering the image of him climbing down the balcony. Why hadn't she stopped him? Sure she was angry but being angry was better than this.

Anything was better than this.

"Reading are we?"

She instantly recognized her sister's voice and groaned. The last thing she felt like doing was dealing with Virginia.

Before she could say anything the fifteen year old plopped down beside her sporting a suspicious grin. "You seem grim."

She shrugged to this not caring for polities.

"Phadues?" Her sister took the book, breifily flipping through the pages. "Why that seems advance."

"Somewhat..."

"You are glum aren't you?"

Of course she was glum anyone within a ten mile radius could tell she wasn't sun shine and rainbows. Then again she was sure as hell Virginia already knew that.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I'm your sister."

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. Why do you say that?"

"Because every other day of the week I'm the ward. When you want something I'm your sister."

"Well..."

Here it was another grand request she would have to bend over backwards to comply with. Fate really did hate her today didn't it?

"Get on with it."

"Oh I don't want anything."

"Yes you do."

"Just wondering why you're so glum?"

"I'm not glum."

That wasn't really a lie, heartbroken and glum were two very different things.

"You are too."

"Is it important or can you leave me alone?"

"We have to leave for school in two minutes. But come on tell me what's wrong."

This was certainly odd Virginia was never the caring sort. She must really want something, but what?

Deciding that might be a dangerous question to ask Marigold came to her feet grabbing her school bag. "Let's go then."

She had expected to shake off Virginia as they made their way to the car but the other girl still jogged beside her, corny smile even larger now. "You can tell me."

"I thought you told me never to tell you anything about myself."

"I never said such a thing."

"Yes you did, eight years ago when we went to the seaside for vacation. I was upset because I spilled ice cream all over my new bathing suit, you told me to shut up and not to bother you with my problems."

Her sister blushed. "That was a long time ago. We're adults now."

She rolled her eyes as she climbed into the back seat of the car placing her bag beside her as a protective barrier from the other girl. This didn't stop her though and soon Marigold's leg was pressed against a bony thigh.

"You can tell me."

"I have nothing to tell."

"Tell me."

She didn't much feel like sharing her heart break with her conniving sister so instead Marigold leaned forward tapping on the glass, signaling the chauffeur to drive. The sooner they got there the quicker she could get away from her meddling sister.

A fate she would celebrate gladly.

It was quiet for awhile and momentarily Marigold thought that her sister had finally got the hint and would drop her sleuthing.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. "Fine I'll just guess then." Virginia sighed.

"Go ahead."

"Has it anything to do with that boy you had in your room the other day?"

* * *

 _Hey thanks for reading again! I just really want to thank all of you who are following this story and or have left reviews. Thank you so much :) Don't forget to tell me what you think. Have a great day!_


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